I've pissed off the masters of the universe...no, not Skeletor!

So, yeah, I'm unemployed now. I have been for about a week now. Long story short...my ankles did not like me standing in one spot for 8 hours each night. I fought it with everything I had, but after crawling inside of the house after work for the tenth time, I knew this job wasn't for me. I cried and cried and cried because I couldn't control this situation. Ugh.

So, I'm jobless and the next bit of good news is that I'm about to be school-less. I received an email from school yesterday that said I owe them almost $2000. I did not realize that my financial aid had run out...I'm such a dumbass. I haven't worked up enough courage to call my financial advisor to make arrangements to pay this for two reasons...1)because I have to tell her that I'm unemployed, and 2)I don't want to hear the words, "If you can't pay, then you'll have to quit." Just thinking about this makes me sad. Sigh.

A bright spot...I have a paying job to make a cake for a baby shower. I'll get paid on Saturday, but because I wasn't sure how much to charge...it's for 50+ people...I think I screwed myself. I didn't charge nearly enough and they are getting a major break. Eh, at least I'll get paid.

I've been sick with my vertigo for about 3 weeks now, and just got my meds for it on Monday. I haven't been on them in about 9 months. Hopefully, when it kicks in, I'll be dizzy-free.

I've now taken to calling myself a writer. When I see someone that I know and they ask me what I've been up to, I'm just going to tell them that I've been writing..cuz, ya know...I'm a writer. Yeah, that sounds interesting.

Seriously, I am a writer. Anyone can be a writer. Now, being a good writer is another story alltogether :) I have an idea for a novel and I'm about to start an outline, also I'm still working on the poetry. I write every day in my journal. True, I may never get published (I haven't even tried) but I'm still a writer.

I've realized lately that I'm on edge almost every moment of the day. I always thought I was the laid-back one, able to relax in any situation, but I stay stressed and fretful all the time. I take time now and notice the tensing of muscles in my face and all over my body when I'm washing dishes or watching tv. I never truly relax because in the back of my mind, I'm always thinking of school, or work(lack of), or what my family thinks of me, or what the future holds. I can never let go of things...WHY?!? It's silly that I'm like this. I don't have a high pressure job, I don't have kids, I'm in relatively good health(I think)and I have so much to be thankful for. Why the hell do I tense up so much? Ugh!!!!!

Oh well, thanks for listening. C-ya.

eating: left-over tacos. sounds icky, but they were good :)
hearing: The People's Court on tv.
reading: a textbook...Intercultural Communication
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© jofetish on
Thursday, Feb. 02, 2006 at 3:02 p.m.
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